Again with the ups and downs

Freelancing continues to be a roller-coaster. Up: I booked a couple of medical conference coverage gigs for a publisher I filled in for last year. This is a good gig -- short, intense, then over. I bury myself in it for a week, and then can forget everything I learned (or try to -- I'm still haunted by images of septic wounds from the first conference I covered for them. Bleh.) Down: I just got the contract for said conference gigs, and the word rate has gone down. Typo? Mistake? Cutbacks? Or do they not think I'm worth $1/word? It's a lot of hard work, I basically become a medical-conference machine for the week, and I thought I did a pretty good job last year. I would hate to think they've decided I suck. (Not enough not to hire me, but enough not to pay me what they did before.) So the question is, should I turn down this gig if they don't up the word rate to last year's munificent round figure? For all practical purposes, i can't -- even at the reduced rate, it's too good a paycheck. But I'm still a little pissed. We'll see what happens. Another up: I actually completed a (not half bad, if I do say so myself) commentary/humor piece all on my own. It's actually relevant to the current news cycle! I wasn't assigned it! There was initiative involved! Hey, that's a big deal for me. And another down: It got rejected out of hand -- possibly without being read -- by a paper that I kind of think sucks. (Why submit to them? Because I'd still be happy to take their money.) They don't accept any unsolicited work -- and if they don't, who the hell does? Heck, I'd even worked with them for a little while a couple of years ago, but even having some personal connection didn't help. Harumph. I'm still trying with it, tweaking it a bit, making it slightly less edgy, and submitting it to more mainstream fare. No response yet. It's hard not to get discouraged by that. So: On I plug, as I look over my finances (I'm not yet selling my blood, but boy, I wish they were stronger), try to force myself to complete more queries (but if even the aforementioned rag doesn't even look at them, what's the point?), and contemplate how to cut costs and keep things going. It's funny: Every time I tell people I'm a freelancer, they always say "That must be so fun!" And it is -- it's a hell of a lot better than even the best office job I ever had. But it's hard, and it's lonely, and you spend a certain amount of time feeling like you're adrift. If I had to support anyone but myself, there's no way I'd be able to pull it off. I try to hang on to the successes I have, but it gets hard sometimes. Any suggestions on how to deal with it?