Yay for me!

I just turned in my weekly article and I had to tell someone - even though it's nearly 2am. Yay me! I love having my Fridays free to... well, work on other stuff. I really feel like it's important to work on my ultrasound article first every week. I mean, that's my repeating, dependable job. But sometimes it doesn't leave a lot of time for working on anything else. And these other things do have deadlines of their own. Eeegh. Where does all the time go?

My favorite author

I developed a great love for reading reading books by this author. I waited for the next book to be published each and every time. I cried today when I read that he past away. An author can touch our lives as much as family does in so many ways and in some ways much more deeply. This is part of my life that is no longer going to be there for me. I am so sad. I am crying. I will miss you Robert Jordan (pen name). I will miss you James Oliver Rigney, Jr. (October 17, 1948 - September 16, 2007) I am so sad...

post-conference recovery and catch-up

I'm glad I went to the Austin Game Developers Conference last week. I really am. I got to hang out with good friends, got to see the current state of the art in game writing, got to represent the trade organization (IGDA) I do a lot of volunteer work for, and apparently I perfected my "elevator speech" of who I am and what I do. I did some valuable networking, too. One person even said, "Someone should do a bio piece on you for some magazine. You have a really interesting story." That got me to thinking why that hasn't happened. One reason it hasn't happened is that I sometimes work as press. And in the press, it's sort of bad form to go around interviewing each other (after you graduate from journalism school). So that got me thinking more. Maybe I should be the one to write the piece anyway. Hmm. I guess I'll add it to my list of things to do. Somehow that gets longer and longer every day even though I'm working harder and harder at crossing things off.

(Almost) too much of a good thing

As a writer, I'm supposed to avoid cliches. But the whole "It never rains, it pours" thing? It works for me right now. One article down, two to go (all must be completed today) for a movie project. Production monkey work begging me to come in. An interview I did long, long ago really, really needs to be written up, and that's got to happen by Thursday. (And yes, I'm cursing myself for not tackling it sooner, but transcribing is the bane of my existence.) The new TV season is starting up, so all of my TV jobs are going mental. And next week, I've got a medical conference to cover. Plus, all of my windows are being replaced on Saturday, so I don't even get to sleep in. I often say I'd rather have too much work than not enough. And every once in a while, fate decides to test that. Lucky me. It looks like I'll be going pretty much flat our until the 24th. Then, I sleep. A lot. Still beats the hell out of an office job though, right? Right?

How I mourned the Twin Towers

I remember where I was when the towers fell. I was at work. I remember the boring form I was working on to setup a cross reference entry point for customer and railroad access lines. I bought and carried a silver coin with a beautiful enameled representation of the twin towers. I mourned the towers a little each day as I would slip my hand in my pocket and felt it. I said to myself that I will always mourn the towers, but knew that my healing would be complete the day that I lost the coin. I still remember the day I lost the coin and I know where I lost it. I was on my bike riding in the MS150. The water tower was in sight signaling the finish line being near. I stopped along side the road for a quick break with my companion and best Friend, Amanda. I felt the coin in my pocket and felt a little sad. At the finish line we went around and did all the celebratory things that one does after riding all day long and accomplishing so much. I reached my hand in my pocket as was my habit to do frequently during each day. I don't think anyone ever noticed my strange quirk of reaching into my pocket occasionally, but that day, I looked at Amanda and told her that I lost my coin. I wanted to cry a little, but I had always said that when I lost it, I would allow myself to accept the loss and tragedy. I could have gone back. It was only a couple miles. I knew where to look, but sometimes you have to stop holding onto the grief. I still remember where I was when I heard the news about the towers, but also, I remember the beautiful day that I allowed myself to stop mourning. I still have fond memories and love seeing the twin towers in the older Friends episodes, but the coin that I can still feel in my mind may have been found alongside the road by someone else that needed to mourn more than I did.

Vote Steve for President

I don't know how it happened, but I have been elected President of the 501(3) c organization I work with. Maybe it's because I talk too much at the meetings. So for the next year, I will run our monthly meetings and make sure we stick to our goals as an organization. I suppose it's an honor, but considering that I really only wanted a supportive / immaterial role, it amazes me how we tend to work ourselves into positions with responsibilities and costs with little or no monetary compensation. I have seen over the past two years how this organization helps those with Multiple Sclerosis. I also see the vision of where this organization is going to go in the next five, ten, twenty years. It is very unique in how it supports and helps without a heavy or negative or 'woe is me' sentiment. The education provided is given in a format that is so easily digested over a luncheon with wonderful meals. I have seen the evidenciary results in emails and even in one obituary notice by a woman that died from complications to MS--that it was the one time a month that she got out of the house--that she looked forward to it each month. I witnessed the tears in the founders eyes as she read the notice and realized just how much her mission has touched the lives of so many. So, the 'gig' that started out as a technical support roll, "He's my computer guy" has evolved into a long term involvement. The compensation is that I know in my heart how much the monthly luncheons mean to this little community (me included) of people with MS--not only the educational aspects--but more so the social value. I want to see this organization grow from 300 individals to 50,000. We're going national!!!

Two weeks crammed into one

I'm going to a conference in Austin next week. Should be fun, but it's taking a lot more prep than I anticipated. And since I'm going to be busy and out of the office all next week I have to get everything done this week that would usually be done next week. This means I've now got two weeks crammed into one, and I don't feel like I'm on the winning side of this battle right now. I can't believe it's already Thursday. I think I lost a day somewhere between Tuesday and Wednesday.

Pricing myself out of a job

I live! Yes, it's true, I still exist on this site. I just had a somewhat surreal conversation -- a potential client at a company I already do some work for called me about a project. It sounded remarkably similar to what I do for client number one at that firm, so yeah, I could do the job. And then we started talking about price. What he was proposing to pay was less than a third of what I charge client number one. Tragically, I told him my rate, and now I fear he's going to call client number one and say "Are you crazy? You pay that much for this kind of work?" I have a counter-argument: I know your site as well or better than you do, I work quickly, and you never have to worry about my work quality -- but it's still disconcerting. This may mark the first time I've turned down a job. I have a lot of other things going on right now (for once), and it's not work I enjoy. I'll work cheap on things I like -- my TV writing, for example -- but I just don't want to spend my time doing production work unless they make it worth my while. Still, it feels wildly arrogant to have turned down a job. It may take some time to get used to this.

It's hot here today. 99 degrees...

I just thought I would share this poem. My Creed by : Howard Arnold Walter (1883 - 1918) I would be true, for there are those who trust me; I would be pure, for there are those who care; I would be strong, for there is much to suffer; I would be brave, for there is much to dare. It is time to go out and mow the grass. It's already 77 degrees out there and will be 90 by 11:00 O'clock. I don't like the heat, but the grass (weeds) must be cut.

Maybe we're not so dead yet

Well, the retainer I was so excited about didn't work out. That happens sometimes with startups. It's the nature of the business. Here's hoping they weather the stock market storms and come back to me with more work in the future. I continue working on the weekly articles about ultrasound news. I've also got a few local projects going. In some ways that's good - a meeting at the client's office doesn't take a week-long roadtrip - but in some ways it's a little weird to work for people who know your parents. I've had kind of a rough day today. My dog Duchess decided to slip her collar and go for a run this morning, herding cars on the road just out my back door. When she got one to stop she wasn't quite sure what to do with it, though. Some of the drivers were very nice about it. Some of them were annoyed and mean. Why are people like that? I was doing my best, and yes I was obviously failing to get my dog to obey me. The dog was causing other people inconvenience and scaring them. I was aware. I didn't need it yelled out the window at me. Now I guess I need to let it go and get on with work. Some people are just that way, and they're beyond my control.

Funny Lady

This mom is really funny... http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/

My humble apologies

Sorry I've been so absent lately. I've been busy doing things and just never got around to typing in all my activities. They would have been really good blogs too! You would have been totally interested and extremely fascinated!!! So now, I tell you this so that you become angry at my and then I will feel badly and start posting again. See, that was easy. You were angry for a split second at all the premium posts I've skipped, and now you have already forgiven me because I am an interesting person to read. Just to catch you up on things. 1) Our new house is lovely, but the grass is dying. I hate the lack of rain... Everything is either thrown away, given away or put away. Life is good... 2) We bought a new car. With only one car in the house, we like to have a warranty and low mileage. It was time to buy new shocks and tires, so we decided to just buy a new car with a warranty. It's not really the greatest financial decision, but when you don't walk well, you don't want break-downs. 3) The organization that I donate a lot of time has decided to go national, so I've been very busy going to meetings and discussing plans. We have another meeting next Tuesday to finalizes future structure of the organization and to sign some documents. Wee! Now that I've caught you up. I am soooOOOOO sorry for not blogging more frequently. I do enjoy the company that this blog creates and I have decided to try and blog more than once every 3 months!!! :)

favorite new site

Good old websurfing took me to a new favorite site today: http://www.onelook.com/ I can get a list of 1,000 words that start with J, or do a reverse lookup on a word when I know there's a better word for what I'm trying to say, and it's on the tip of my tongue, I just can't think of it. Yay for technology!

time flies

Yeah, I got put on retainer and then they said, "hey, could you be down here for a meeting on Monday?" and I said, "this Monday?" and they said, "yeah" so I discovered I'm not in a position to drop everything and just travel on a whim. It took me two solid days of hard work to get out the door. Home now. Meetings finished. I think it was worth it. I actually enjoyed the drive home, going from brown and urban to green and wildernessy. Better than driving through the night, too, which is what happened on Saturday. I brought the dogs with me. They stayed at my sister's house while I was working. Their kids seemed to have a good time with them. Now it's back home, on the clock, dealing with deadlines and oppressive heat. This does not bode well for the temperature in August. Fortunately, we have only two months of real summer and we're at least one week into the first one. It won't last forever.

wait a minute...

I think I just got put on retainer. Ok, not _just_ - something like five hours ago. It's taking a while to sink in. Partially because I'm not feeling well today, and it's affecting (effecting?) my mood, and I just hate the whole world and everything in it. So good news is kind of like a shock to my system. I can't quite process it. But one regular gig I thought was over just renewed. More details about the specifics will come in tomorrow. This is good news. It's what pays my mortgage. Not the utilities, but the mortgage. This is good. Then a conversation with a new client turned from a very painful, piecemeal, project-oriented, penny-pinching negotiation into: "what if you put me on retainer?" Sure, there's a ton of work to get done, and some travel involved, so this means I'll definitely have to put in 20 hours of work every week. But here's the thing - I get paid for it. Not half a million dollars or anything, but money I can use to pay for things like the utilities. I think the people I've been borrowing money from will be pleased. On the other hand, I've got commitments coming up in August. No telling really how many hours those commitments will take up. I wonder how this will all work out. The funny thing is, my luck has been so low for so long, I'm sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop - looking for the catch - wondering how this is going to come back to bite me. It's hard to relax and enjoy the good news. Maybe it will feel better in the morning.

pitch and toss

It is possible! I pitched a story today, and the editor said, "Okay. Can you have it to me in two weeks?" Yay! Granted, I didn't come up with the story idea myself, and the pay isn't great, but I admit it is a little ego boost when the editor says he'll take it. You can do it too, Sarah! Really! You've just got to find the right market. Okay, back to working on a writing sample a friend said "Don't send that in" after reading. yay.

Monday Morning.... er Afternoon

I don't know what to tell you, Sarah. Focus on the positive? Don't let the man get you down? Don't live too many days at a time? Personally, I think the only way I manage the rollercoaster is to live very much "in the moment." Don't look too far ahead, don't look to far behind. Right at this moment, this is what I'm doing, and this is good. All that said... I just sent a query letter to a company I heard was hiring. Yep, fulltime. I've been freelancing for three years or so, and I'm not sure I can take the feast and famine. Even the feast times are kind of scary. How long is this money going to have to last? How much of it can I spend on luxuries? So many uncertainties. Still, I love being able to take long walks with the dogs and not worry about getting to an office at a particular time. I love taking the afternoon or the day off to spend with my nieces/nephews and not have to ask someone or give them a good excuse. Deep, cleansing breaths. Find your happy place. Live in the moment.

Again with the ups and downs

Freelancing continues to be a roller-coaster. Up: I booked a couple of medical conference coverage gigs for a publisher I filled in for last year. This is a good gig -- short, intense, then over. I bury myself in it for a week, and then can forget everything I learned (or try to -- I'm still haunted by images of septic wounds from the first conference I covered for them. Bleh.) Down: I just got the contract for said conference gigs, and the word rate has gone down. Typo? Mistake? Cutbacks? Or do they not think I'm worth $1/word? It's a lot of hard work, I basically become a medical-conference machine for the week, and I thought I did a pretty good job last year. I would hate to think they've decided I suck. (Not enough not to hire me, but enough not to pay me what they did before.) So the question is, should I turn down this gig if they don't up the word rate to last year's munificent round figure? For all practical purposes, i can't -- even at the reduced rate, it's too good a paycheck. But I'm still a little pissed. We'll see what happens. Another up: I actually completed a (not half bad, if I do say so myself) commentary/humor piece all on my own. It's actually relevant to the current news cycle! I wasn't assigned it! There was initiative involved! Hey, that's a big deal for me. And another down: It got rejected out of hand -- possibly without being read -- by a paper that I kind of think sucks. (Why submit to them? Because I'd still be happy to take their money.) They don't accept any unsolicited work -- and if they don't, who the hell does? Heck, I'd even worked with them for a little while a couple of years ago, but even having some personal connection didn't help. Harumph. I'm still trying with it, tweaking it a bit, making it slightly less edgy, and submitting it to more mainstream fare. No response yet. It's hard not to get discouraged by that. So: On I plug, as I look over my finances (I'm not yet selling my blood, but boy, I wish they were stronger), try to force myself to complete more queries (but if even the aforementioned rag doesn't even look at them, what's the point?), and contemplate how to cut costs and keep things going. It's funny: Every time I tell people I'm a freelancer, they always say "That must be so fun!" And it is -- it's a hell of a lot better than even the best office job I ever had. But it's hard, and it's lonely, and you spend a certain amount of time feeling like you're adrift. If I had to support anyone but myself, there's no way I'd be able to pull it off. I try to hang on to the successes I have, but it gets hard sometimes. Any suggestions on how to deal with it?

not bragging - celebrating small successes

I have the "cover article" on a videogame news website today. yay me! (I got paid for it about three months ago, but it's nice that it finally sees the light of day.) http://www.gamasutra.com

Happy Solstice!

Longest day of the year. Hopefully not the longest workday of the year!

mid-week malaise

Am I spelling that right? I don't even have enough motivation to look it up. So anyway, it's Wednesday. I've got approval on the ultrasound story for the week, so I guess I could work on that. I really should work on that business blog work that's been sitting on my todo list for two weeks. And what about all that volunteer work I was going to do for that trade organization? There's no lacking things to do - only motivation to do them.

14th Wedding Anniversary - wow time flies...

Today is me and my beautiful wife's 14th wedding anniversary. I did the dishes and took out the trash, so the place looks nice. I'm going to take her out for an early dinner at some fancy place (fancier than McDonald's). I also got her a really nice card that says a lot of very beautiful stuff and a Nine Inch Nails cs she has been wanting for a while. We are really really in love still after all these years.

Good news, bad news

The good news: I'm doing some more TV blogging, this time for Zap2It's From Inside the Box blog. This is the sort of fun job that still makes me feel vaguely guilty I get paid for it. This does not stop me from submitting invoices. The bad news: One of my production monkey jobs may be going away. We'll see. The all-too-typical news: I really, really, really need to send out some pitches. Ideas are fine, but they have no prospect of bringing in money until I send them to editors.

Monday morning - not manic

Once again, having trouble focusing and really getting any work done. Things I want to accomplish today: * email amy * email kathy * prep for this week's ultrasound article * work on the bio and blog i'm getting paid to do * provide answers to client questions about word counts * do some craft-like fun stuff

New House Blues

I haven't posted because I have been so busy packing and moving and unpacking. I know that's no excuse to log in and spend a few minutes writing down my thoughts. The house is coming along well. Let me describe our new house a bit. It's a new construction ranch dwelling with no grass (a little grass, but mostly dirt). When you first enter the house you can see all the way into the living room, so you see my large widesrceen tv. Off to your left is a small room that is a laundry room and to the right is the music room. Most people would have made the music room into a dining room, but my wife and I don't use the dining room table, so we put the round solid oak table down into the basement for poker games. The music room is open and spacious with our instruments lying around the room in their cases. It's acoustics are pretty nice. Off of the living room is a hall that leads down to the library and the master bedroom and a guest bedroom. (three bedrooms, but we really like having a library with all of our great books on the shelves) We've unpacked over half of our stuff. The only room that is not yet completed is the guest room, which is full of boxes that need to go to the basement for storage. The garage also has a bunch of boxes that need to be unloaded to the basement, but first we need to setup our storage area in the basement. We bought 24 bricks and 4 MDF boards to make some areas that will be raised off the basement floor to keep moisture at bay, and a couple real storage shelf units. Once they are in place, the boxes will be sorted out and reorganized and put into storage. Then, we can put the guest room furniture into place and we'll be done! It seems to be the hardest part of unpacking. You have everything you think you need in it's place, and now you have to store the stuff you don't want to throw away but don't really want to put into the new house. The hard part is giving up a relaxing day or two to actually do the work. That is why I haven't blogged. I've really been trying to stay focused on the house. Today, I felt obligated to post something out of duty to my friends. I know you miss me! Sorry! *hugs* There is a sense of loss as we near completion of our house. I can't quite explain it. All of the excitement is coming to an end and your fatigue levels are still reading along the redline, so it's worse than being drained, but I can't put it into better words. It's not a saddness. It's not a relief. It's the new house blues. I need to go into the music room and put together a song now. It won't be very good, but when you have the blues, you have to take advantage of it and write a song. If I get a good blues song written, I'll post it here, otherwise, I might have to post a I didn't write a blues song blues song.

Here it is - Friday already!

Where did the week go? I wish I knew. I did finish that book proposal and get it sent in. I even finished my ultrasound article yesterday. It feels really good to be facing a Friday with nothing hanging over my head. Well, nothing the size of a piano anyway. I've even followed up on a couple of leads this morning already. So here I am, patting myself on the back. Hope everyone out there is having a pleasant Friday too.

I finished something!!!!!1!!11

It so shocking, I had to announce it here. I actually finished the book proposal(s) I've been working on fastidiously (Okay, between things I was already getting paid to work on) for the last two weeks. Yay me! Now I'm going to email them off and see what happens. So strange, being able to mark something off my todo list...

to get done today...

Let me see... I want to get all the pictures off my camera and see if I got any good ones of my niece and nephews playing soccer. I want to finish this book proposal that's been hanging over my head for a month now. I need to get a new topic lined up for this week's ultrasound article. Can't stop talking about it, I know. I may need to help out my sister-in-law with some driving today. Her husband has her car keys - in a town two hours drive away from here. This list seems very short, but I'll be lucky if I can handle everything on it in just one day. Onward and upward!

another monday morning come and gone

I like Monday mornings, I really do. I just never get anything done. My article's up on the ultrasound site, so I guess it worked out. I still need to finish up my two book proposals though. Plus, must go to niece and nephews' soccer games tonight. What a busy social calendar I have.

Something to show for myself

One of my big fun projects has finally hit the site: The Supernatural Big Bad Bracket. I have to admit, I'm absurdly geeked-out and pleased by it. This is one of those assignments I'm torn over -- on the one hand, I'm kind of amazed I get paid to do stuff like this, as it is geeky and fun. On the other hand, it's a pretty damn good feature, no one else is doing it, I put a lot of work into it, and I should be getting paid more for it, dammit.

Another Noun! Verbing Adverbly!

Welcome Steve! Did I spell your name right? We've been friends for a decade or so, but how often do I use your last name in print? It's nice to have more than two people in the office. I realize you're right in the middle of a stressful house move, but hey - we're all trying to get the work done. Welcome to the fray!

Motivationally challenged

It's one of those perilous days to be a freelancer -- no immediate deadlines, gray and rainy and (comparatively) cold, a head cold/sinusy thing making me feel like I'm under water... on days like this, the temptation is to just go back to bed. And when you get right down to it, I can. But.... you know that list I said I was going to get through last week? Except for the one on-deadline thing, I didn't. So no naps for Jerslix until she's written several cover letters.

friday already??1??!!

I'm just not prepared for today to be the last day of the week. As an office worker, I kind of dreaded Monday. As a freelancer, I find myself dreading Fridays. If I don't get everything done on/by Friday it means Saturday turns into a work day. I don't like that.

Random, funny URLS of the day

The first one may require a little setup. So first take a look at this: http://www.pmsclan.com/pmselite.htm It's an example of some women who play video games banding together in "clans" trying to push an image. They're not the only one. Well, someone's finally spoofed them. And I love them for it. Don't miss the video: http://www.mega64.com/ On to wacky URL #2 (yes, it is) http://www.codemasters.com/dirtydancing/ http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/05/30 self-explanatory, I think. Now, I really must get to work. Right after lunch.

On the list

Right now I'm building a NCAA-basketball-style bracket based on characters and events from one of the TV shows I cover. It's fun, but damn, I wish I got paid more for this. Goals for the week: write and send cover letter for picture book write and send pitch for one travel article write and send pitch for one other article Hold me to those, ok?

not a wasted day... I think

Let's see... what have I done today? * I got the dog's nails clipped. You have no idea how much of a chore that can be. She's getting better, but it's still a two-person job. * I researched the death of a childhood friend. it's amazing what you remember, and what you forget about big events in your childhood. Also - a new philosophical question for you to ponder. If there's no evidence of some big event on the Internet - did it really happen? * I checked one thing off my todo list. * I figured out what the ultrasound article will be about this week and got it approved by the editor. * I wrote an email to a radiologist.

do I have to go to work today?

Even though I get to work from the comfort of my own couch, it's touch to go back to work after a long holiday weekend. I didn't do anything too exciting yesterday, but still it seemed like it was more fun than trying to understand statistics in scientific abstracts. Still, it's a new week, time to buckle down.

article done for this week!

It got turned in around 1am last night, but hey - it's finished. Now I can take Saturday off like a normal person!

The perils of the shiny

I do actually exist, and I am part of this blog. My problem at the moment involves motivation -- how to get motivated when you are the only one supervising your work. Like many writers, I am plagued by the sort of inherent ADD that makes me especially susceptible to distraction. I'll get to that pitch... as soon as I check out this one web site to check a fact, or pull that other fact fromthis reference book, and oooh, look at that, that's interesting, let's follow that up, and hey! I didn't know that, and I wonder if this will be interesting, and .... hey, what have I been doing for hte past three hours? Curses! I have once again been seduced by shiny distractions, and I've managed to get nothing done. I'm in the lucky position that I have enough regular work to pay the mortgage and the bills. These are expected weekly deadlines, and I know I have to complete these tasks or disaster will occur. Plus, this regular work comes from people I went to school with or encountered during my office-job career -- friends, basically -- and I would hate to let them down or get them in trouble because their source turned out to be unreliable. So these regular gigs get done like clockwork, no problem. The problem comes from generating work people aren't expecting -- pitches, articles on spec, things like that. I'm the only one expecting these things to appear, and I am a master of allowing the shiny to distract me from my self-appointed tasks. Part of why I love the idea of nouns verbing is it provides me an outside layer of both encouragement and accountability. This is a place where we can share ideas, and hopefully by doing so, make them bloom. And by putting those ideas somewhere other people can see them, the theory is, I'll be forced to follow up on them. A question for the masses: How many other home-based or freelance workers have the same sort of problems with motivation? How do you overcome those problems? I'm guessing this is something that confronts many of us, and I hope this site can help us deal with our own impulse towards distraction.

why i love living here

Just finished a post to my personal blog. That event is rare enough, I felt the need to announce it somewhere. It's about my walk this morning and pretty much sums up a big reason I love living here. Also - pictures! subversified.com

what I accomplished today (so far)

I got my next post done in my series about skills to use when dealing with difficult people. You can read it here: http://blog.quantumcontent.com/ what to never put in writing (this includes email) This includes a real life story about how this skill kept me off the witness stand in a nasty IP law suit. Truly entertaining and enlightening! Too bad no one's paying me for this yet. I am simul-publishing it to a mailing list for women in the game development industry. Building that fan base. In addition, I pulled this website into shape and invited a few people to join in.

is this thing on? hello? hello?

Okay, the virtual office is officially open. Come on in and pull up a desk. We're all working on our own thing, but some of us wanted some company while we were taking care of business. Right now we're getting together in AIM, but I'm considering adding a chat room to this page. It may all come down to how fast and painless it is.